Long or Short Capital is consistently hilarious. Sometimes they have some ideas that are intriguing as well as funny. Because everything they say is mocking something or other (usually Helicopter Ben), the LoS kind of ‘intriguing’ is often laden with a macabre sadness, as in, ‘That was very … intriguing, the way she was murdered,’ or, ‘That’s an intriguing take on how the US dollar has gone down the $h####r.’ But that doesn’t mean the idea’s necessarily without merit. Far from it:
In-Kind Price Targets
by Mr Juggles
Due to the rapid decline of the dollar, we will no longer use the US dollar as the basis for our price targets in our recommendations. Instead, we will use “In-Kind Price Targets” which employ some independent unit of measurement to compare a firm’s value to.Example:
Our former price target for Burger King (NYSE: BKC) was $26 by November 13th, 2007. Now, the new “In Kind” price target would be 8.5 Whoppers per share.
Example:
Our former price target for Google (NASDAQ: GOOG) was $650 by November 13th, 2007. Now, the new “In Kind” price target would be 1500 Adsense clicks per share.
Hopefully, this will allow our readers to make better imaginary actions on our recommendations.
I would actually be interested in seeing that indexed over time.
LoS also features an insightful debate between Gisele Bundchen and Ben Bernanke (moderated by Jim Lehrer):
Jim Lehrer: First question for Gisele. Gisele you’ve recently announced you will no longer accept payment from modeling jobs in dollars. Can you talk about that decision?
Gisele: Well I was partying at Bugee in London recently and an American was trying to grease the bouncer to get in. He dropped one of the dollars he had in his hand on the ground and the bouncer looked at him and said. ‘Hey, pick up that trash’. I thought it was funny because the same guy had just thrown his cigarette butt on the ground and the bouncer didn’t seem to care about that. I got to thinking – are cigarette butts more valuable than dollar bills? So I changed my policy to protect my assets. Like gold and oil my hot assets have intrinsic value and are immune to inflation, I thought my contracts should reflect that.
J: Ben, your rebuttal?
B: I believe that the Federal Reserve’s success in reducing and stabilizing inflation and inflation expectations is a major reason for this improved economic performance.
J: Ok, good one Ben, but if inflation is under control why is everyone selling their dollars?
B: The Federal Reserve is committed to maintaining low and stable inflation and I’m very confident that we’ll be able to do that.
J: Genius. Gisele, back to you. Exactly how hot are you?
G: Well that’s interesting because I’ve been trying to decide that myself. My old answer used to be “pretty f*cking hot”. But when I tried to have my assets insured the insurance company wanted a “more meaningful agency rating”. So I showed my assets to S&P and they rated them AAA which I felt was pretty good until I found out subprime loans have the same rating. Now I’m just a dumb model but come on I’m WAY hotter than a basket of subprime loans -
J: Great points. Ben, would you rather have a basket of subprime loans or have Gisele show you her assets?
B: Decisions of the Fed are made in conjunction with all the members of the board and I am not in a position to comment on future actions. But I will — YES.
